Withdrawals
Fuck misery
I am an addict
A fiend in need of her eternal energy
Missing this feeling she has on me
She takes control of my being when she is near me
And allows me to fly
To walk on cloud nine
And have the feel of the wind rush through me
As if I were sky diving
Free falling without a care in the world
With my mind only focused on her
She gets me high
But I’m having withdrawals
She stepped away from me to protect her love
And it seems like forever since I have injected her
Professed myself to her
Desires and feelings in a release of emotion we share
As our lips meet
Our hearts beat
As if she were me and I was a child
Plugged into her life force essential
I need her…
My body is breaking down
I’m in need of her
Feel that itch on my skin
And I’m shaking deliriously
Like most addictions
I never knew she had this effect on me
See, I have always been in control
But she changed things
Changed the me that I am and now I realize
That I’m the addict
Addicted to her walk and her movement
To her thoughts and the smoothness
That is her
I’ve lost control
She is my addiction
And without her
I am lost
From my lips to your ears…
🎤 Spit and Ink: A Live Poetry Exchange (Open Mic)
Co-hosted by The Speechless Poet & Melissa “justME” Ellis
Next event: May 26 at 8PM EST
All poets of all genres and experience are welcome.
Come for the poetry. Stay for the AfterWORDS!
AfterWORDS: Withdrawals
“I’m an addict / A fiend in need of her eternal energy”
Let me be clear about something: comparing love to addiction can be problematic. Real addiction destroys lives, families, bodies. It’s not romantic. It’s not poetic. It’s devastating.
But the metaphor persists because there’s truth in it. When you’re dependent on someone for your sense of wholeness, when their absence creates physical symptoms, when you shake and itch and break down without them, that’s not healthy love. That’s dependency. And if feels exactly like withdrawal.
This poem isn’t celebrating that. It’s documenting it. Naming what it feels like to realize you’ve lost control, that someone has become your drug, that you can’t function without your next hit of them.
She Stepped Away To Protect Her Love
“She stepped away from me to protect her love”
Whose love is she protecting? Three possibilities:
Her love for me - She’s protecting her own feeling by creating distance before she gets hurt
My love for her - She’s protecting me from my own dependency by removing herself
Love itself - She’s protecting the concept of love from becoming toxic codenpendency
I’m leaving it ambiguous because I genuinely don’t know which. Maybe she doesn’t either. Maybe all three are true.
What I do know: she recognized something unhealthy and chose to step away. That takes strength. Especially when the other person is falling apart without you.
The Physical Symptoms
“It seems like forever since I have injected her / Professed myself to her”
“Injected her.” The drug metaphor made literal. She’s the substance I need in my veins. Without her, I’m going through physical withdrawal.
“My body is breaking down / I’m in need of her / Feel that itch on my skin / And I’m shaking deliriously”
These aren’t metaphorical symptoms. This is what withdrawal actually looks like: physical breakdown, itching (craving manifesting in skin), shaking, delirium. I’m describing my emotional need through the language of physical addiction because that’s how intense it feels.
The body doesn’t distinguish between needing a drug and needing a person when dependency is this deep. The symptoms are real regardless of the source.
The Life Force Connection
“As if she were me and I was a child / Plugged into her life force essential”
This image is both beautiful and concerning. A child plugged into a mother’s life force. Total dependency. Can’t survive without that connection. Entirely vulnerable.
That’s what I’ve become. Not her partner, her equal. Her dependent. A child who needs her to survive. And when she unplugs (steps away), I’m left without the essential energy that’s been keeping me alive.
That’s not love. That’s parasitic dependency. And the poem is honest enough to name it.
The Loss of Control
“See, I have always been in control / But she has changed things / Changed the me that I am”
In most of my poems, I’m the one in control. I’m directing, deciding, pleasuring, commanding. That’s my comfortable role. The one who knows what to do, who takes charge, who leads.
But she changed that. She took my control. And discovering that I’m not in control anymore, that I need her in a way that’s beyond my management, is terrifying.
“Like most addictions / I never knew she had this effect on me”
Addicts often don’t recognize their dependency until they try to stop. I didn’t know I was addicted until she stepped away and I started experiencing withdrawal. I thought I was fine. I thought I was in control. I was wrong.
Without Her
“And without her / I am lost”
The ending is simple and devastating. Not “I miss her” or “I want her back.” Just: I am lost.
Lost means directionless. Without purpose. Unable to navigate. She wasn’t just a source of pleasure. She was my compass, my anchor, my reason for being. And now that she’s gone, I don’t know how to exist.
That’s the ultimate consequence of making another person your drug. When they leave, you’re not just sad. You’re lost. Your entire sense of self was built around them, and now there’s nothing holding you together.
Why This Fits Poerotica
This is the darkest love poem in the collection. Not heartbreak from external circumstances (like Katrina, Limitless) but heartbreak from unhealthy attachment. From loving someone in a way that destroys rather than nourishes.
Poerotica isn’t just about healthy desire. It’s about the full spectrum. Including the ways desire becomes toxic, becomes dependency, becomes addiction. This poem doesn’t glorify that. It documents the devastation of it.
If even one person reads this and recognizes their own patterns. The way they’ve made someone their drug, the way they’ve lost themselves in another person. Maybe it helps them see what needs to change.
Desire should enhance your life, not become your life. When you can’t exist without someone, that’s not love. That’s survival mode. And this poem is honest about what that feels like.
Your Thoughts
Have you ever confused dependency for love? What does it feel like to realize someone has become your drug rather than your partner? How do you reclaim yourself when you’ve lost control to another person?
Drop a comment. Let’s talk about the line between love and addiction.
If you enjoyed this, you might also like:
Katrina - Another poem about loving someone who destroys you
Limitless - On losing something that felt essential
One Last Time - When you can’t let go even though you should
Yes.. this is powerful
Love as dependancy is an issue. You are two separate entities, yes intertwined, but separate
Becoming dependant on eachother is super toxic and often leads down a brutal path.
Love how you laid the poem down then explained the reality behind it!
This is so powerful!! ❤️🔥🖤🔥💚